Lately I've been having a hard time with doing things for myself. I constantly feel like I have to justify what I'm doing, for no good reason because it's not like anyone is interrogating me on what I've been up to. It's hard to explain but lately I just can't be happy just sitting around, I feel like I need to have plans all day everyday and then when I do just take the time to sit around I feel lazy. I even get grouchy on my days off work because sometimes I have nothing to do -- even though there is tons to do.
It's not like I don't do stuff on my time off but it's more like I don't feel like I've accomplished something unless I've actually hung out with someone or gone somewhere rather than stay home and read a book and take the dogs for a walk. Even though both are equally are productive.
I guess this is just my way of figuring out who I really am. Growing hard is tough sometimes, and lately I feel like I've been getting to know myself much better and find what I like and don't like and not waste time on things I know I don't want to do.
So in the meantime my solution is to find a hobby. Or multiple hobbies. Since summer started I've taken an interest in doing outdoor activities: hiking, biking, running.. but I would like to do something more creative. I think I may take up scrap-booking, or maybe photography or painting. I would also like to finally learn how to play the guitar.
In the meantime I just need to stay positive and enjoy life, because I even though I get bored and grouchy sometimes.. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Carpe diem -- seize the day.
slkm, xx
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